Going through a divorce or dealing with a family law matter is hard enough without having to sort through bad information. A lot of people walk into these situations believing things that simply are not true, and those beliefs can lead to real problems. Misinformation about child custody, asset division, alimony, and more can cause people to make decisions that hurt them in the long run.
According to the CDC, Idaho’s divorce rate was 3.9 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants as recently as 2019. That means thousands of families across the state are going through this process every year. With so many people affected, it is worth taking a clear look at the most common misconceptions so you can go into your situation with accurate expectations.
7 Common Myths About Divorce and Family Law in Idaho
Myth 1: You Can Withhold Visitation If the Other Parent Stops Paying Child Support
This is one of the most common mistakes parents make after a custody order is in place. If the other parent stops making child support payments, it can feel like you have the right to cut off their visitation. The problem is that it is not how it works legally.
Child support and visitation are two separate legal issues. A court order that covers custody or visitation must be followed by both parents, regardless of whether support payments are being made. If you stop allowing visitation because of unpaid support, you could be found in contempt of court and may even risk losing some of your own parental rights.
If the other parent is not holding up their end of the support agreement, the right move is to go back to court and let a judge handle it. Anyone who takes the law into their own hands in this situation may face fines, penalties, or worse. Protect yourself by going through the proper legal channels.
Myth 2: You Have to Get Divorced in the State Where You Got Married
Many people assume they have to file for divorce in the same state where they got married. That is not true. Divorce is based on where you live now, not where the wedding took place.
To file for divorce in Idaho, there are a few requirements to meet:
- You or your spouse must have lived in Idaho for at least 6 months before filing.
- One spouse can file for divorce in Idaho even if the other spouse lives in a different state.
- If the other spouse cannot or does not move to Idaho, the spouse filing can do so through the district court in their county.
The bottom line is that the state where you said your vows does not control where you can end your marriage. Your current state of residence does.
Myth 3: One Spouse Can Refuse to Allow the Divorce
A lot of people believe that if one spouse refuses to agree to a divorce, the other is stuck. That is simply not true. In Idaho, no one can be legally forced to stay married.
Idaho is considered a mixed fault state, which means a divorce can be filed on either a no-fault basis or a fault-based basis. A no-fault divorce means neither party has to prove that the other did anything wrong. The couple simply cannot reconcile their marriage, and that is enough. A fault-based divorce can be filed if one spouse can show specific wrongdoing by the other. Grounds for a fault-based divorce in Idaho include:
- Adultery or infidelity
- Addiction
- Acts of cruelty
- Deliberate abandonment
- Incurable insanity
A spouse can slow things down, but they cannot stop the divorce from happening. The court has the authority to grant a divorce even if one party refuses to cooperate.
Myth 4: If Your Spouse Cheated, They Lose Everything
Infidelity is painful, and it makes sense that people would want the legal process to reflect that. But the idea that a cheating spouse automatically loses all their assets is a myth.
Idaho is a no-fault divorce state, which means fault does not have to be proven for a divorce to be granted. In most cases, adultery will not change how assets are divided. However, infidelity can still come up in some specific situations. Under Idaho Code Section 32-705, a judge is allowed to consider adultery when deciding on alimony. If infidelity is cited as the reason for the divorce, the spouse making that claim will need to provide proof.
There is one scenario where cheating can impact asset division more directly. If the unfaithful spouse spent significant amounts of marital money on their affair, a judge may decide to award the other spouse a larger portion of the marital assets to account for that loss. Outside of that, adultery is not going to result in one party getting everything. No Idaho law requires that outcome.
Myth 5: Alimony Is Automatic in Every Divorce
Alimony, which is also called spousal support or maintenance, is not guaranteed in any divorce. It does not happen automatically just because a couple decides to end their marriage. A judge has to order it, and it is only awarded when specific conditions are present.
The purpose of alimony is to help both spouses maintain a standard of living that is reasonably close to what they had during the marriage. A judge will look at several factors when deciding whether to award it, including:
- The earnings and financial situation of both spouses
- Whether one spouse gave up career opportunities during the marriage, such as staying home to raise children
- Whether one spouse needs time to get more education or job training before they can support themselves
- Any existing child support obligations
In most cases, alimony is temporary. It is meant to bridge the gap while one spouse gets back on their feet, not to last forever. Each case is different, and there is no guarantee that it will be awarded at all.
Myth 6: All Marital Assets Will Be Split Exactly 50/50
Idaho follows community property laws. This means that any assets acquired during the marriage are considered to belong equally to both spouses. Under that framework, the default is a 50/50 split when the marriage ends.
But that is not always how it plays out. There are real exceptions to the rule. Assets that one spouse owned before the marriage are considered separate property and do not have to be divided. The same can apply to inheritances or gifts received by one spouse during the marriage, depending on the situation.
Couples are also free to come to their own agreement about how to divide their assets, and a judge can approve a division that is different from the 50/50 default if the circumstances call for it. The starting point may be equal, but the final outcome depends on the full picture of what each spouse owns and how those assets were obtained.
Myth 7: The Mother Always Gets Custody, and the Kids Choose Who They Live With
Two separate myths often get wrapped into this one topic, so it helps to address both together.
First, there is no rule in Idaho that says mothers automatically receive primary custody. Courts do not start from that assumption. Custody decisions are made based on what serves the best interests of the child, and judges will look at the full picture before making a call. Factors they consider include:
- The financial situation of each parent
- The strength of the relationship between each parent and the child
- Any history of child abuse or neglect
- Any other factors that could affect the child’s wellbeing
In most cases, the goal is for both parents to stay involved in their children’s lives on a regular basis. Courts tend to favor arrangements that keep both parents present when that is safe and reasonable.
Second, children generally do not get to choose where they live. Unless both parents reach an agreement on their own, a judge makes the custody decision. That said, if a child is old enough and mature enough, a judge may take their preference into account. It will not be the only factor, but it can be one piece of the decision.
Do Not Go Through This Alone
Family law cases involve real stakes, whether that is time with your children, the home you have lived in for years, or your financial future. The last thing you want is to make a major decision based on something you heard that turned out to be wrong.
If you have questions about your divorce, child custody, alimony, asset division, or any other family law matter, the team at Foley Freeman, PLLC, is here to help. We work with families throughout Idaho and are ready to give you straight answers about where you stand. Call us today at 208-888-9111 to schedule a consultation.